I have pain during love, help...

Arrival of menopause, ovarian cyst, sensitive uterus, vaginal infection… Or psychological blockage. The causes of dyspareunia - pain during intercourse - can be multiple. Putting your finger on it (no pun intended) can take time, but it's not inevitable. Here are some ways to see things more clearly and take care of yourself, because making love should remain fun and only fun .

Different forms of pain during sex

From the Greek “dys” meaning difficulty, and “pareunasthai”, coupling, dyspareunia designates pain during the sexual act. Pain that may occur intermittently or be systematic, superficial or deep, and in women, vulvar or vaginal. It is important to discuss it freely with your partner and your gynecologist to find the causes, and not find yourself afraid of making love, or even damaging your relationship. A man can feel rejected when he does not understand what is happening to his partner, who she can blame. So stop the taboos, take the problem from the right end (no no really still no pun).

Different causes, different solutions

fear and stress

Some women, through their experience, are apprehensive before having sex. This anxiety stimulates the production of adrenaline: the muscles of the perineum contract, making penetration painful. This phenomenon can also occur in times of stress. It easily becomes a vicious circle, because the fear of having done the wrong thing causes the muscles to contract.

The solution: kick back, relax, take the time for gentle foreplay and try other positions. When you're not ready, you're not ready, that's all. And if the problem is deeper, that it comes from a trauma, speaking with a psychologist or a sex therapist is the best option.


Vaginismus triggers the same phenomenon as fear and stress, which are one of the causes. In this case, muscle contractions prevent vaginal penetration by the penis, but also any foreign body ( tampon or speculum for example).

The solution: different therapies exist (we will tell you more soon)

Menopause and vaginal dryness

When the menopause arrives, the hormones are disrupted and no longer play their role in vaginal lubrication as well. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to fix it.

The solution: It's here .


Endometriosis is also a known cause of so-called "deep" dyspareunia. A pain felt at the bottom of the vagina when the penis is in contact with it, and in certain positions presses on a nodule of endometriosis. This pain is often a sign of lesions or inflammation.

The solution: to see with your gynecologist, it may be necessary to cut your period with continuous contraception for a while.

A sensitive cervix

The cervix is ​​a viscus and can react by contracting. The pain can occur simply with the pressure of the penis, or if one has a retroverted uterus. It can also be the consequence of a tear during childbirth, or uterine fibroids, or even ovarian cysts.

The solution: laser treatments are possible to repair all of this, except for the retroverted uterus where your Kamasutra will have to be adapted.

An episiotomy

If you are a young mother and you had an episiotomy during childbirth, the pain during sexual intercourse can last a few weeks, and this is normal. It takes time to heal properly.

The solution: take care of its healing with good hygiene and suitable products, to do with the gynecologist or the midwife who gave birth to your little one. Wait before making love, that it is well healed, it will be even better after ;)

An infection

Finally, a yeast infection or any other benign infection will cause burning or itching, which increases during or after sexual intercourse. Nothing to panic about.

The solution: treat your mycosis with anti-fungal eggs, and if the itching persists, we consult! If it is another herpes-type infection, treatments will also allow you to regain a fulfilling sex life.

By Elise

Questions ?
We answer it...

Pourquoi j'ai des douleurs pendant les rapports sexuels ?

Il existe plusieurs causes de douleurs pendant l'acte sexuel, les premières sont les sécheresses intimes, le stresse et la peur. Mais cela peut aussi être révélateur de problème bien plus profond voir grave, comme du vaginisme souvent lié à un traumatisme, l'endométriose, l'épisiotomie ou encore une infection. Dans tous les cas, il n'y a aucune honte, alors n'hésitez pas à en parler à votre gynécologue pour que ces douleurs n'entachent pas votre plaisir.

Comment soulager les douleurs pendant l'amour ?

Pour soulager ces douleurs il faut d'abord en connaître la source. Une fois la cause identifiée vous pouvez travailler dessus, la traiter et enfin apprécier les rapports. Selon la causes, cela sera plus ou moins simple et plus ou moins long, mais n'hésitez pas à en parler à un professionnel de santé qui vous orientera au mieux.

Faut-il consulter un professionnel de santé en cas de douleurs pendant l'acte sexuel ?

Il est parfois possible d'identifier la cause des douleurs seule, si vous souffrez de sécheresse intime, si vous êtes anxieuse ou si vous n'avez pas envie. Mais si malgré votre travail sur vous pour aller mieux vous ne parvenez pas à prendre du plaisir cela peut aussi être un symptôme d'autre chose comme une infection par exemple. Alors, n'hésitez pas à en parler avec votre gynécologue, ce n'est pas «normal» d'avoir mal.

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